Some Arizona neighbors were a little surprised when Samuel Ellery Sedgwick opened the door and walked into their apartment uninvited.

The surprises kept coming when Sedgwick pulled out a bag of cocaine and offered to snort a line with them.

Sedgwick became enraged when they declined. He shouted "[that's] offensive to my culture," tore off his shirt, and began to beat the nearest person to him.

And then things got even crazier, because why not??

Another person nearby happened to have a claw hammer and smashed Sedwick in the face with it a couple of times.

According to Fox 10 Phoenix, that got Sedgwick off the guy he was attacking, but it wasn't over yet.

Police said Sedgwick then pulled a 9mm Glock handgun from his backpack, threatened to murder the occupants, pistol-whipped the injured man across the head and sprayed mace across the apartment before running out the door.

Sedgwick ran home, looked into his mirror, and discovered the hammer blows had chipped his tooth.

The police report says that at this point he screamed,

No one chips my tooth and gets away with it!

Amazing.

Armed with the handgun, police said Sedgwick hopped on a bicycle and rode back to the scene to carry out his revenge.
Investigators said Sedgwick fired 10 rounds from the complex's north alleyway.

It was a ride-by shooting!

Luckily, Sedgwick was out of his mind on drugs, so he didn't actually hit the apartment or the people he was aiming for.

While he believed he was shooting into the apartment where the fight began, the gunfire instead tore through a covered parking structure and struck a neighboring unit. One bullet pierced a window and lodged into the ceiling of that apartment, whose resident was not home at the time.

The police called in the whole freakin' calvary to apprehend Sedgwick: patrol officers, Bike Unit officers, Street Crimes Unit detectives, K9 units, and Special Assignments Unit detectives.

Sedgwick was quickly apprehended and treated for head injuries before being booked in the Maricopa County Jail. His victim was also treated for head injuries and broken ribs.