You have to hand it to the female empowerment movement — they're shattering the glass ceiling, one historic failure at a time. Following the broad-daylight theft of the crown jewels, the first female director of the Louvre has resigned.

Another feather in the cap of girl bosses everywhere.

From the "what took you so long?" file, a Republican U.S. congressman has introduced legislation that would ban gender-related medical procedures from being performed on minors.

On behalf of all sane, decent human beings in America: It's about dang time.

Last night, Trump gave the longest, most incredible State of the Union address in American history — almost two hours, a record, nobody's ever done anything like it.

And I've compiled the greatest and most outrageous moments of the night right here for your viewing pleasure.

There are still many people who do not know how bad things are.

Many, many people.

Sadly, no, the police are not onto this. In fact, just last month, the British Parliament voted not to authorize a wider inquiry into decades' worth of reports involving said rape gangs.

Canadians, we'd be done gloating if you'd stop pouting about your loss 😂

That's a real headline!

Imagine telling the country that saved the world's collective butts twice in the last century that winning a sports game isn't the same as winning a "World War."

Canada is like the Amazon Prime of assisted suicide.

In Canada, you can request a government-sponsored suicide and get killed on the same day!

Now that's government efficiency!

From a report by the Chief Coroner of Ontario's Medical Assistance in Dying Death Review Committee:

When exactly do you think Candace Owens lost the plot? 6 months ago? 6 years ago?

Is she still getting clicks for this stuff?

Ladies and gentlemen, what in the actual heck?

Yes, that title compares Erika Kirk to the horror film "Bride of Chucky," which is an odd metaphor considering in that scenario Charlie Kirk himself would be, well, Chucky.

This is hilarious.

Yes, Huber Heights Police just happened to be right there behind the garbage truck when this all happened, and quickly took the suspect into custody.

Here is what they posted on Facebook:

Moral of the story: If you're going to hide in a trash can on trash day, make sure the trash has already been picked up.

Hockey should from now on be our national sport (though we'll have to get permission from baseball first).

Watch this 👇

Boys got some pipes!!

More:

Looks like they had quite the night down in Miami and now they're headed up to D.C. for the State of the Union.

They found a loophole and they're going for it!

God bless West Virginia. 🔥

Here's the rundown:

• Gun Owners of America authored a bill that they passed to state senators in West Virginia that gets around the 1934 National Firearms Act and 1986 Hughes Amendment, which severely regulated gun sales in America.

• This bill exploits a loophole in the 1986 law that bans Americans from buying full-auto guns.

• The 1986 law exempts the government, including state governments, from the ban, including "transfers."

• This new bill would therefore allow local governments to "transfer" the guns to citizens, presumably after gun shops have "transferred" the guns to the government.

So the Trump administration wants us to eat healthy now and apparently eating healthy is white supremacy because listen to Democrat Maxine Dexter, who represents, believe it or not, Portland, Oregon, in Congress.

You might remember that the healthy eating fad was something liberals were doing like five seconds ago.

Hoo boy.

Me, checking to see if the U.S. government has any money left over to be handing out "refunds":

'Plaintiffs seek for themselves a full refund from Defendants of all IEEPA duties Plaintiffs have paid to the United States,' lawyers for FedEx said in the complaint, filed Monday in the Court of International Trade in New York.

The filing did not specify how much the company is seeking to be refunded. It names the U.S. Customs and Border Protection, the agency's commissioner, Rodney Scott, and the United States of America as the defendants.