S A T I R E

[Members of Congress, enabled by the “Media,” are paid very well to do the opposite of what they promised voters they would do. Consider the Republicans. And consider the Democrats.]

The Republicans

Congressional Republicans have unveiled plans to continue doing the exact opposite of what everyone voted for them to do.

‘I fear for the future of America if we deport families that are intent on endangering the future safety of America.’

After sweeping to victory in 2024 on the promise of reducing government spending and codifying into law a return to sanity on issues like women’s sports, Republicans have announced that they will instead do the complete and total opposite.

“After considering why Americans voted for us in the first place, we have decided to do the absolute polar opposite,” announced House Speaker Mike Johnson. “To be clear, our plan isn’t to just not do what voters asked us to do. No, sir. We are going for the outright antithesis of everything we were supposed to accomplish. We aren’t going to simply not reduce government spending — we’re going to make it so much worse. And we’re going to keep at it until we’ve gotten crushed in the midterms and can’t do anything ever. That’s a promise.”

Senate leaders have joined the House Republicans in echoing their commitment to railroading every hope that voters once harbored. “Anything you voted for us to do, consider it not done,” said Senate Majority Leader John Thune. “Then consider the opposite done. That’s the plan, and we’re sticking to it.”

The Democrats

As part of a growing outcry over Trump’s immigration policy, Democrats warned that deporting an illegal terrorist family could be a slippery slope to deporting other illegal terrorist families.

‘Anything you voted for us to do, consider it not done. Then consider the opposite done. That’s the plan, and we’re sticking to it.’

Prominent leaders from the Democratic Party met with the news media at Capitol Hill this morning to urge caution in arresting and deporting terrorist families, as it could increase the chances of other terrorist families being arrested and sent out of the country before they were able to murder any Americans.

“Thwarting one terrorist family could easily lead to thwarting many more,” warned Senate Minority Leader Chuck Schumer. “Is preventing dangerous terrorist groups from taking root in our country and jeopardizing the success of their murderous plots really a precedent we want to set? I fear for the future of America if we deport families that are intent on endangering the future safety of America.”

According to the Democrats, other illegal terrorist families scattered throughout the country could be put at far greater risk of being deported if the Trump administration insists on deporting illegal terrorist families. “This is a dangerous path to go down,” Congresswoman Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez said. “What’s next? Arresting and imprisoning criminals? Prosecuting people who break laws? Where does it end?”

Members of Congress and the “Media” from both parties agree that if voters had serious money like their donors, those poor deplorables could get the kind of results they voted for. Until then, shut up.

More Here and Here

  U.S. Congress hellbent on bipartisan plan to anger voters

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