A weird and borderline incoherent introduction to a report on Catholic Charities reveals the extent of CBS’s Trump derangement. Additionally, it displays for all to see the extent to which the former Tiffany Network has been broken by President Donald Trump ahead of a potential settlement with Paramount.

Watch this weird introduction, a random assortment of cheap shots directed at Trump with no relevance to the story:

CBS News has gone Full Resistance. This is their Trump-deranged non sequitur-laden intro to a report on...Catholic Charities. pic.twitter.com/lveypKeLy6

— Jorge Bonilla (@BonillaJL) April 30, 2025

MAURICE DuBOIS: Candidate Donald Trump said he would be a dictator, but only on day one of his presidency. Well, now on day 100, he had a different idea. He said he'd like to be pope.

JOHN DICKERSON: That was his joking response when a reporter asked if he had a preference as to who should succeed pope Francis.

DuBOIS: Francis was quite serious when he rebuked the president on more than one occasion over his treatments of migrants. The pope was the biggest champion migrants had on Earth.

Dictator on Day One, the pope joke…it’s a wonder Dickerson and DuBois didn’t unearth the Bloodbath and Very Fine People hoaxes. The introduction apparently served no other purpose than to take shots at Trump- perhaps as filler. Did CBS fire their newsroom writers when Bill Owens resigned? It’s not clear but it sure seems that way.

The self-serving intro did little to advance the actual story: a human-interest piece of an Afghan refugee who came to the United States after the disastrous 2021 pullout, now working at Catholic Charities.

This isn’t to say that the story is perfect. The Afghanistan withdrawal is downplayed, as is the significance of Lampedusa, Italy regarding the migrant invasion of Europe. The American analogue to our own migrant crisis, perhaps: Eagle Pass, Texas. 

The story serves a dual purpose: both as an infomercial for Catholic Charities (who also do adoptions but that doesn’t fit with the legacy media’s agenda) and a vehicle with which to extend coverage of the death of Pope Francis between now and the conclave. There are only so many times a network can say “The People’s Pope” before they have to branch out.

Additionally, the story served as a vehicle for the newsroom’s Trump-deranged rebellion against their parent company. The saga continues.

Click “expand” to view the full transcript of the aforementioned report as aired on the CBS Evening News on Tuesday, April 29th, 2025:

MAURICE DuBOIS: Candidate Donald Trump said he would be a dictator, but only on day one of his presidency. Well, now on day 100, he had a different idea. He said he'd like to be pope.

JOHN DICKERSON: That was his joking response when a reporter asked if he had a preference as to who should succeed pope Francis.

DuBOIS: Francis was quite serious when he rebuked the president on more than one occasion over his treatments of migrants. The pope was the biggest champion migrants had on Earth. Here’s Jason Allen.

JASON ALLEN: Inside his home in Owensboro, Kentucky,...

KHAIBAR SHAFAQ: Good morning!

ALLEN: Khaibar Shafaq is up before sunrise. There is a new baby in the house, three kids to get out the door to school, before he heads into the office. It is a normal American life. Just four years ago, however, Shafaq was among the Afghans fleeing their country as it fell to the Taliban. 

What did you have when you arrived here?

SHAFAQ: In Kentucky? No friends. No home. No sense of belonging. Nothing.

ALLEN: The agency tasked with supporting Shafaq, a Muslim, was Catholic Charities. From his first days as pope, Francis called attention to people fleeing from suffering. His first trip outside Rome was to Lampedusa, an island destination for migrants from Africa. Kerry Alys Robinson is the president of Catholic Charities USA. 

KERRY ALYS ROBINSON: Having Pope Francis emphasize this constitutive of the Gospel, constitutive of what it means to be a person of faith, really was a kind of a boost in the arm for all of us.

ALLEN: Shafaq spent his career helping others who were in need after disasters. 

And yet you still say you wouldn't have been able to do that and establish a life here without that assistance?

SHAFAQ: To be honest, I reached to a point that I lost hope.

ALLEN: Shafaq now works for Catholic Charities. The pope may change, but the inspiration from Francis, Shafaq told me, will not.

SHAFAQ: I will remember forever. Whatever we do here is what he has been doing since long time. Welcoming to strangers.

ALLEN: Assisting migrants and refugees only makes up about 5% of what Catholic Charities does, but in part because of the spotlight that Francis put on the work, Robinson told me she expects the commitment to that work to continue no matter who the next pope is. 

DuBOIS: Jason Allen. Thank you.